he dieded

Jan 29, 18 - 11:07am, 3 months and 3 weeks ago

alt

No commits in a looooooooong time, I have reasons for this, as I have reasons for shirking my responsibilities of everything.

But I haven’t died (as the perceptive umongst you may have gathered), I’ve more just had a change in focus. i.e. less nerdy stuff more move-y stuff. Last year I got into eating stupid amounts of food to put off muh feels and this year I decided to change that, self improvement and all. I’ve come to realise that for people to actually like you, you have to have some semblance of being a decent, interesting, well rounded person - either that or shed-loads of money, looks, whatever crux you lean on. I don’t really have any of those going for me currently (any attempt to argue this is futile).

So I’m putting off the aspects of me that are more polished to work on the other things that need more, well, polish.

I feel like I have a solid foundation of programming now that I feel able to solve most problems (within margin), with a quasi-ok solution. Better than 99% of the population at least. I haven’t really had any drive to create new projects now that one of my projects has almost 50 stars on GitHub right now so I feel fairly accomplished with that current aspect of myself.

My efforts have instead been refocused on;

The last point is a big one, I’ve vaguely discussed my issues in previous posts, but now I feel like I’m making some kind of headway with it, I feel happier - at least I think so, time will tell if this is just temporary delusion or actual contentment. This is good. During my 3 years of college I’ve been fairly shut-in, few friends and few social outings with people, I aim to change that somewhat at Uni, granted being kind of stoic is an ingrained section of my personality - I want to do things, but most time I feel a lack of need to do so. In future I’ll try and push myself to do things regardless of what the voice in my head (speaking to myself in 3rd person is fun) says. I’m currently unsure if the “stoicism” is just a thing I’ve made up to stop myself from over-thinking it too much, not that it really matters currently, I’ve bigger fish to fry.

There’s a nice quote I’ve seen and kind of memorised, its something I’ll go by this year.

“Today is victory over yourself of yesterday; tomorrow is your victory over lesser men.”

This keyboard doesnt have an apostrophe key and it(is)s annoying.


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